A Dawn of Realization...

Some time ago, I thought I was a completely fearless girl, that could go into anything without hesitation; that could skip almost every task without the uneasiness of being afraid... But, oh, I was so wrong...

This semester, my friends have been too keen on making me realize what I am really afraid of; and it's something only people that love unconditionally can be afraid of: I am terrified of losing those I love.

Yup, my friends have been scarring me all the way to hell and back. I'm not afraid of death, nor afraid of dying, I AM afraid of seeing how my friends and family lose their will to live; of listening to their voices saying that they surrender, that they give up their lives. Because dying of something unexpected or expected but not always given a lot of importance is quite different from dying because you want to, or rather because you don't want to live any more... There is a little but substantial difference between them

Loneliness... I've been never afraid of it, because being with myself is enough for me when nobody else is around. I'll never be lonely because I'll always be with myself.

What happens when a warrior decides to stop fighting for what he believes, loves and wants?

Am not? Are too?

"So... what am I thinking? Or else, Why do I think what ever is on my mind today? Why the hell whatever other people say and do affects me in ways that SHOULD NOT affect me?"

A lonely teen age girl thought of this while walking down a narrow street. Rain was soaking her short, wavy dark brown hair, as well as her cheerful clothing, that in that moment had nothing to do with how was she feeling. Confusion, excitement and and worry were making a pool for themselves out of her mind and heart. And she didn't quite like it.

"God damn it! I'm such a wreck right now! My mother is always nagging me about my horribly untidy room, but as Einstein said: 'I'd rather have a messy desk, than a messy mind!' But now what? A mess in my feelings, in my ideas and in my room... this has got to an unacceptable extreme...!"

She stopped, looked at her surroundings and sighed. In an access of utter madness, she opened her arms to the skies and twirled while wearing a smile that was a bit bitter, a bit sincere and a bit unsure...

Hello!

Hi!

This is a space that I created by mere convincing labour of a friend of mine. (I do hope this friend of mine visits this blog and leaves some comments)...

Well, as an important note... I tend to write both in Spanish and in English... and perhaps in bit more in French too... So don't get too surprised if suddenly you see a post in my mother language and then in my second one.

Now... I only write whenever my emotions are overwhelming (and whenever I have time), but I'm a rather passionate girl, so Maybe you'll see me around many times.

Perhaps whatever I write here helps you one way or another... or at least entertains you...

For now this is all I wanted to say.

Till the next postage.

MEL