How many times can a girl cry in one single day? How many can I? Cause I feel completely soaked in my own pain, my own confusion, but my heart and eyes feel as soil that has been through many years of draught.

How is anybody supposed to feel when the person comes to realize that he or she doesn't know anything about him or herself anymore?

How to make decisions if you don't even know what your options are? How to keep up with a pace that's too slow for the world, but way too fast for you? How can I keep a bit of hope if nothing's alright?

Today I cried as I had never done before. I cried for desperation, for frustration, for an unjustified loneliness, and perhaps for a bit of a broken heart. Today I saw what I had refused to see in many months, Today I realized that I've fooled myself into believing I had something. Today Someone made me see that I'm not who I thought I am.

I felt every tiny dream smash into millions of tinier pieces, just the same way my tears broke when they hit the pages of my oldest diary, the same one I began when I felt that nothing was alright too. Six years ago was that. I saw the ink beginning to fade away with each salty droplet I shed.

I just wanted to end it all... but I couldn't bring myself to just drop my broken mind to the bin of an unsteady thought. I couldn't manage to pour the venom of desolation down the path of my sore throat, that was almost shouting in to the silence of my scream to please stop the torture of seeing myself loosing everything I never had...

Can someone please tell me where I went wrong? When did I turn into the street of nothingness? When did my mind began suppressing my wishes?

Because today I feel like an empty shell, a dry well, a lifeless body, a zero to the left...