Dame dos razones para odiarte, para no clavarme en el corazón la idea de ti, para evadir tus miradas de indiferencia.

Dame dos más para alejarme, para volverme nada más que indeseable, para no sentirme débil.

Porque todo fue razón para enamorarme, y no puedo. No quiero verme llorar de nuevo. No puedo perder lo que jamás tuve pero siempre sentí. No debo perder de una forma absurda la visión de la justicia.

Ódiame, ya que lo merezco, ignórame ya que no valgo el estar contigo, despréciame, porque todo en mí es sustituible y mejorable, olvídame, porque no hice nada trascendente, bórrame de tu vida pues no hice más que lastimarte.

Sé que ofrecí mi amistad. Pero no lo logro aun intentándolo. Y en este momento por mucho que me duela, prefiero no tenerte cerca que lastimándonos mutuamente. No quiero lástima. Quiero que me quieras como yo te quiero. Y duele saber que no lo tengo.

Te valoro como persona, porque sé que eres libre, porque respeto tus pensamientos y tus emociones. Y porque a mis ojos eres mejor que tantos otros, te pido desde lo más profundo de mi alma dos razones para no quererte.

Anda ya, con ellas terminarías mi sufrimiento. Con ellas me liberarías del embrujo que sobre mi lanzaste sin saberlo. Ahora que sabes el estado en el que estoy, podrías entender por qué me alejo.

Quiero ser libre. Quiero no llorar. Quiero poder ser, sin causar conmiseración. Quiero poder hablar abiertamente. Quiero…

Pero solo si tu me das lo que pido…

So please just leave. Never mind the state I'm in, because one day I'll be fine again.

Pursue your happiness. Go & find the one that'll make you whole; the one that'll lift your worries, hurt & fear & turn them into peace, joy & strength. Someone that will turn your sun on & your nights into the most sincere expression of love.

I know I'm not the one that can do for you all those beautiful things. I feel the lack of enthusiasm you feel when talking to me. I can see the light leave your eyes whenever we’re left alone…

So, oh my darling, go. Fly as far as you want. Leave me here drowning in my pain, for I’d rather die than make you stay when your heart is far away.

And yet I'm here tonight crying over nothing in particular.

I lie on my bed thinking of something I'm not aware of recreating in my mind... Where are those cheerful moments? Where's the laugh that always was inside my mouth? Where's the tenderness I used to feel for anybody else? Where's the mercy I tried to show to those who needed it? Where's my hope? Where's my love? Where, in the bloody hell, is my humanity? What's left of it?

I feel my tears rolling down my cheeks. I stand up and walk to my mirror and whom I see is no one I can recognize. I stare and ask the creature that's staring back. What is it? Who is it? How did I became into it? Was it me building castles in the air? Were the stupid little daydreams I used to have while I was supposed to be paying attention?

I'm still staring at it, directly to its eyes. And then, only for an instant, I see that the creature's almost as lost as I am. I try to help it find its way, and suddenly the creature becomes something I should have been more prepared to see. I almost screamed when I realized the creature was me!

A little bit more calmed, I crawl back into my bed. I will let my heart wash away whatever he's feeling throughout my tears. I'm alone, so there's nobody who'll make fun of me...

And without taking notice, I fall asleep, going to my secret place, when everything's what I want it to be...

I thank you: for making me laconic, for my inexpressiveness whenever I feel I might hurt others; for making me so incredibly intelligent as for being aware of when I'm being incredibly stupid, even to the point of falling in love; for making me realize that love may be beautiful, but that will always make you cry; for making me admit what is fair for someone and give more importance to it than to whatever I may desire with all my heart; for making my heart fragile and transparent but thank you too for giving me so many weapons to help me protect it; thank you for the bitterness, for the pain, for the loneliness, because Oh, Lord! they alone make me feel alive...

Thank you: for giving me your friendship instead of making me think that I could hope for something else; for being honest, because although it stung my heart as a needle in my fingertip, I appreciate it much more than a pitiful lie; for not minding whatever I may feel or might have felt for you; for giving me another reason to avoid love...

Thank you: for being there; for forcing me into accepting the feelings that I had been neglecting for a while; for helping me realize what's wrong; for slapping (almost literally) some sense into me and making me come down to Earth; for letting me confide in you and you confiding in me (although I may be sometimes a complete... prat); for everything we've shared...

Thank you for showing me that you're a person that knows how to love, even if someone's played many times with your heart; for showing me the real meaning of forgiveness...